
I can relate to her concern. When I was growing up in China, the pressure to be a dutiful daughter and a good student in a pre-described, non-negotiable way was so intense that I couldn't wait to go to college and leave my hometown as far behind as possible. Life in college had its own challenges, but I was happy and thrived on them, because finally I could be myself and in command of my own battle -- a battle that I had chosen to fight, I was willing to fight, and I enjoyed fighting. Nobody knowing my past "traditional" self helped tremendously because I felt free to explore even experiement different versions of self.

That's also the conclusion of Peggy Orenstein: "Something is drowned in that virtual coffee cup — an opportunity for insight, for growth through loneliness. Perhaps my nieces will find a new way to establish distance from their former selves, to clear space for introspection and transformation."
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